They have taken another ship hostage in the Gulf of Aden,
(Industry chorus: Something must be done, something must be done),
But hey, we make more from piracy than those Somali highwaymen,
This wonderful show must go on.
They are torturing our crews for months on end!
(Industry chorus: Something must be done, something must be done),
Fortunately they are all Third World Seamen,
This is how the West was won.
We will take five years to orchestrate a response since
(Industry chorus: Something must be done, something must be done),
And when the music becomes noise, we will not wince
Do we have anything personally at stake? Anyone?
What about the insurance costs, my friend?
(Industry chorus: Something must be done, something must be done),
Hell, the consumer will pay in the end,
with all due surcharges under the sun
The crew have been working for days without a break,
(Industry chorus: Something must be done, something must be done),
Meanwhile, tell them to change their rest periods to fake
those time sheets, I want them redone!
Another accident because of fatigue, it is said,
(Industry chorus: Something must be done, something must be done),
This Registry's manning certificate doesn't deserve to be read!
Psst- switch our ships to this Flag anon.
They have arrested the Captain for no reason again,
(Industry chorus: Something must be done, something must be done),
Stop paying his wages and if he complains
Tell him his contract is undone.
That Class surveyor is saying that this ship is unsafe!
(Industry chorus: Something must be done, something must be done),
Get an interim cert and get out of this place,
The next port is less bothersome.
The ITF crew-wage raid is all over the place!
(Industry chorus: Something must be done, something must be done),
Pay the cash, sail the ship and manage the disgrace
then get the money back from the seamen- or blacklist those sons.
The crew with no shore leave for weeks are half dead
(Industry chorus: Something must be done, something must be done),
Tell them to cooperate and bend till they break,
P& I will pay for that one.
Our ship's been detained with an old magic pipe!
(Industry chorus: Something must be done, something must be done),
But why are your pants on fire tonight?
Claim 'error of servant' - the Chief's the felon
Clerical work is out of control across the fleet,
(Industry chorus: Something must be done, something must be done),
But these new checklists must be filled in all neat
Remember, they apply- in triplicate- to everyone.
The crew are demanding their wages, what cheek!
(Industry chorus: Something must be done, something must be done),
Pay them a quarter and let them temporarily hold their peace,
With a hundred ships, we sit on millions every month.
The oily water seperator is again on the blink,
(Industry chorus: Something must be done, something must be done),
Sail out quietly and report it later, methinks
Pretend it went kaput on the run
That Captain will not sail with a hole below the waterline ,
(Industry chorus: Something must be done, something must be done),
The man is really a big pain in the behind
Look for a reliever at once!
Ashore we have got fat year end bonuses again but
on our ships (something must be done, something must be done)
Let them eat cake and send them an email saying,
"Merry Christmas, everyone!!!"
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